Crimson Curtains And Broken Masks

Before the 12th grade I never liked theater much.I never even considered acting.But after I acted in a school play I got used to the idea but I still never understood acting..not till now..

I finally understand what acting is all about.I can finally feel what it means to me.Acting,being on stage for those few minutes let's me forget myself.It lets me live in another man's shoes.It gives me a chance to hide myself from the world and yet let the world see me.

When you feel like your life is hell and you dont want to live it any more,when you wish you would just burn out,acting let's you live.It lets you die and let's some one else's personality take over.

It's like masking your scars,finding satisfaction in pretension.Even if your character has to die on stage,you cant help but envy the fact that he has such a short life span.He comes,his miseries are narrated and enacted and he dies.You die but yet you live because once the show's over and the curtains fall and the audience goes home you're back to being yourself.

To go home to crtical parents, false friends,dreaded books and disturbing thoughts can be so enervating.To be yourself can be such a pain.Acting lets me forget myself.In a nutshell,acting is- 5 minutes of peace before a lifetime of isolation.

Poetry In Purgatory

A little pain,a little joy,a little hope,a few tears,a single smile...
A silent word,a soft moment,a little blood,a few unconquered fears...
A little order...and a little disorder...



Random Thoughts Of A Confused Mind

Cliched lines,pathetic rhymes,
paper strewn floors,a broken mahogany door,
silent screams,vibrant colours mourning the grey,
blood on the hands of innocent souls,sympathy extended to the undeserving,
writer's block,a broken heart,
a series of changes and no where to start,
azure skies with cotton clouds,mighty trees and newborn leaves,
endless toil in the labourer's fate,
cries of the newborn babe as her mother dies,
remnants of broken relationships in the lovers' eyes,
madness so profound,it defies all laws of nature,
shallow love and one night stands,in dingy hotel rooms..
merciless judges and philanthropic fools,
pestilence of the damned,singing choirs in the glass cathedral,
each singer has a murky past,yet sings in praise of a God none do know,
hypocrisy,lies,lust and pride,
never ending,never ending..
but in the shadow of the dying day,
a candle burns in a small corner of a broken hut,
whispering to the shadow that engulfs it,kissing the wind that deems to silence it,
"tomorrow things will be better than they are today"

Shame,sorrow and a little spirit

So many candles and so little light..


What are we fighting for? Justice?Freedom from terror?What are we fighting for?

The attacks in Mumbai have shaken the nation. They've reawakened the national spirit. People are holding placards in the street urging politicians to step down,pleading for peace. They're dressing up in black and white to mourn the deaths of the innocent.
The security at malls and restaurants has been beefed up like never before.Security protocols are being followed to the t.

Did it take the deaths of more than 200 people to wake these people up?Are we so inebriated in our luxuries and lifestyles that we forget those who have died before these attacks?

What about the 15 year old kid who lost his life in the Gujarat blast?What about the dozens who lost their lives in Malegaon?What about the people who've been killed all over this country time and again because of fanaticism and bloodlust?

Did it take an attack at the taj hotel and the oberoi grand to make us realize how vulnerable we are?Wasnt the death of an innocent teenager in a crowded market enough?

Do we always value the lives of the rich and famous over those who live in slums and wretched poverty?Must we defile "nationalism" by being trecherous towards the less fortunate?

Do political parties always have to play the "blame game" and politicize terror issues?Do they always have to behave as if they would have done better if they had been in power? Have they ever actually lost a loved one to an attack?

Must we always follow Gandhi's philosophy? Must we always pledge non violence and believe that the problems will solve themselves?Are we that lazy or are we just plain retarded?

We ,proud Indians need to bathe in an ocean of blood to realize the futility and vulnerability of our existences.We,great Indians need to watch our loved ones being pulled away from our sights to truly comprehend the tears of a woman in a slum in Ahmedabad.

It doesnt take spirit to get back to normal life after a terror attack.No,that just takes indifference.It takes spirit to try to protect the ones we care about.It takes spirit to choose the right leaders.It takes spirit to fight against those who would break us down.It takes spirit to know when Gandhi was wrong and Bose was right.

It's the 5th of December 2008 and I have a stupid SAT exam tomorrow.And what am I doing?!!I'll tell you what I'm doing-I'm updating my blog!!

I wanted to write about the last few days of school.I wanted to make this a special post but I dont think I can.Words fail me,when I need them the most.

It's been one hell of a roller coaster ride. The year kicked off with me and Aditya participating in some debate for the first time in our lives and realizing that we were a lot like each other. We became friends after that.Now,we're more like brothers.There's this weird psychic bond like thing between us which I really dont understand.Ha ha.I still remember those tense moments leading upto my chance to speak at the podium.He was telling me "Yeah you can do it!" and I was telling him "You're gonna rock man!" when his time came.

Then there was the one act play competition.I seriously dont know how I got involved in that.It was perhaps one of those big turning point like things.Ha ha.I found a great friend in Sourav.I never knew the guy properly prior to that and I made my share of mistakes.I kinda destroyed the reputation of a friend and I dont think I can ever forgive myself for that.But hey on the brighter side,I wrote a script,directed a play and acted for the first time in my life!!

The year drew on and new bonds grew stronger.People who didnt know me before got to know me now and people who I knew before turned out to be complete strangers at times.Me and my friends had our share of fights.We had our share of disappointments.There was politics.There were arguments.There was pain and hatred,isolation and abuse.But there was also catharsis.There was hope.There were plays and bonding.There was fun and freedom.There was friendship.

The year is coming to an end and I cant possibly write about everything which happened.If I tried,I'd take an entire month at least!But I'll savour every prank I played on my buddies,every sick joke we cracked together.I'll miss those stupid brawls over a bottle of pepsi or a treat at the school canteen.I'll never forget the late night conversations and the "adda" outside school.I'll cherish the time I told someone that I love her.I'll hold onto the memories of acting like a jerk,a joker,a retard and just me.



To all my friends,old and new and to the most beautiful rose in the world,I want to say-Thanks for being there and for not being there too.Forgive me for all the messed up things I've done but dont forget me,because I dont think I can ever forget you. :)